Connect Psych Services – Online Counselling, Anytime, Anywhere

The motivation struggle is real – it’s time to shake up your work day

ConnectPsych — Fri, 15 Jan 2021 00:48:21 +0000

If anything could beat back to work blues at this time of year it was the thought of seeing workmates again, sharing holiday highs and lows before discussing the next batch of holiday plans.

This January, not only do many of us not get to see our work buddies in the flesh but our holiday wish list is feeling, well, feeble and we may not even get to see our colleagues if working from home.

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Thrive Magazine

ConnectPsych — Fri, 13 Nov 2020 04:25:54 +0000

Thrive Magazine

Thrive Issue 1 – Vital Health Info, Sam Wood in Lockdown, Olivia Newton-John new skincare

August 19, 2020 No Comments

Thrive Issue 2 – Sally O’s family feasts, Useful thinking vs. positive thinking, Easy your money pressures

September 25, 2020 No Comments

Thrive Issue 3 – Erin takes on the cyber trolls, love yourself imperfections and all, why it’s important to embrace change

November 13, 2020 No Comments

Thrive Issue 4 – Ellie Halliwell’s Life or Death decision, Smoking Hot initiative for Embattled Wildlife, Time to Show Compassion for Yourself + More!

January 4, 2021 No Comments

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Why we ask each other R U OK every day?

ConnectPsych — Thu, 10 Sep 2020 00:32:19 +0000

Why we ask each other R U OK every day?

Dr Natalie Flatt & Sasha Milinkovic, founders of Connect Psych Services

How lucky are we to have found each other? No this is not your typical love story but one with just as much heart and soul. It’s also a story of two people who know the dangers of assuming how someone actually is.

We have known each other since the crazy teenager days, we shared parties, drinks and even boyfriends. As life went on our paths crossed occasionally as we shared the same profession (we had moved on from sharing boyfriends by then).

Almost 20 years later came the serendipitous moment when we ran into each other on the NSW Sapphire Coast with our families; Sasha with her then husband, 3-year-old and newborn baby and Nat with her hubby and 3 and 5-year-olds. Wines shared and a ‘digital health’ innovation towards Employee Assistance was brainstormed and road mapped.

So that’s the beer and skittles version. The version that doesn’t disclose the dark times and the life changing moments that peppers this story. In between us coming together, as life does, it threw both Nat and Sasha curve balls that shaped who they are today.

Sasha – My twenties was a little different to other people’s. I was on holidays in Bali with my boyfriend at the time when he found the lump. Nothing, we assumed. A bit of lumpy tissue, most likely. A cyst, at the very worst. Even the first doctor I saw about it was blasé. Probably nothing, he said. But we’ll look into it.

Spoiler alert: It wasn’t nothing.

Having faced breast cancer at 26 I was forced to consider things I never thought I would have to; my mortality, the question of whether I’d be able to have children, my career identity. My employer at the time was less than supportive, and this taught me much about the importance of compassion and empathy: two words I value strongly to this day and believe a silver lining out of this traumatic situation. My cancer was categorised as ‘high-grade cancer,’ so my wonderful team of specialists decided that we needed to throw everything at it; surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. I went into ‘automatic mode’ for those long 12 months; focusing on each day and what needed to be done. When my final treatment was complete, an acquaintance commented “you must be so relieved and happy to have finished all your treatments!” Strangely, I felt the opposite; it was as though all my emotions that had lay dormant during this time had begun to surface — trauma, fear, anxiety, depression, grief and overall disappointment that my physical body let me down in the first place. It took a lot of therapy – and time – to work through those feelings.

Flash forward 10 years, the road to motherhood became my next hurdle and after many heartbreaking IVF cycles I was thrilled to hold my first baby boy in my arms and three years later welcome my baby girl into the world. Today, I still hold my breath each year at my breast screen checks and focus on my future with two healthy and happy children.

Nat – I started my career as a child psychologist and always was infatuated with the idea of having my ‘three sons’ (triplets please). My first son, Quinn, was born at a tiny 26 weeks from a complicated pregnancy. Not the ideal entry into motherhood I planned; rather, a time where my husband and I learned a NICU medical background very quick. Every beep makes you jump; frantically looking at your monitor, O2 levels saturation, knowing the ins and outs of CPAPs levels, prick testing, incubation temperatures and lumbar punches.

On a fateful day where Quinn had ticked over into his 9^th week of getting to know his beautiful soul, he developed septicaemia and died suddenly. To walk into the hospital and to make a decision to stop resuscitation still haunts me. The grief soon took over and was all consuming; panic attacks, bargaining, depression, extreme rage, sensory issues, and eventually acceptance. We had good people around us to pull us back from the brink and our relationship became stronger than ever. When we decided to try again and was blessed with another boy carried to full term, we were over the moon. Life became a new norm full of nappies, giggles, sleepless nights and a million photos. Fast forward two more years and we were blessed with my third son, Xavier. So, as bittersweet as it was, I received my three sons.

Throughout all pregnancies and the spectrum of emotions, I still held my role as a GM of a school-based psychology service. This was my constant and my outlet to many amazing, supportive and intelligent colleagues along with the freedom of being able to express my creativity and innovative strategies for best practice; so much that it was recognised as Australian Young Businesswoman finalist. Whist I experienced being recognised on this National platform, I came up against a force came to recognise as something that is all too common in the world of business where my ethical position was placed under pressure; gender inequality in the workplace (FFS it is the 21^st century? Why is this still happening?!). What’s amazing to witness and experience is standing up for my own value and moral position resulted in an 18^th legal battle that is still ongoing. Everyone (gender non-specific) should be remunerated and recognised for what they are work. The traumatic and unjust journey left me exposed; holding self-doubt, anxiety and an overall identity crisis. However, as the famous James Allen Lane states, Crisis Doesn’t Build Character, It Reveals It. Gaining all the resilience I could muster, I brushed myself off and started again. And wow, this is a far better adventure than I ever anticipated.

So why do we ask each other every day if we are ok? Because we still feel the trauma and the triggers of our past. However, we have also seen first-hand the value of your chosen community, the way they buoy you up when you need it most. We are each other’s people; both friends and business partners. We also show hard shells; learning over the years to ‘get on’ with things. But never be fooled about a ‘mask’ and never make assumptions. We know when one of us are struggling and we silently pick up the slack for that day; asking each other what they need for that day. We share the same values, compassion, empathy and authenticity and not only do they allow us to support each other but they have kept us accountable creating, building and managing a business where we can lead by example and hold a level of Emotional Intelligence not only towards the employees and leaders we support but also to our amazing community of Connect Psych practitioners.

While this day is important to check in, don’t let it be the only day you check in. It doesn’t even need to be crisis mode. And so we ask you to use your fidelity towards others, place assumptions aside and ask R U OK today?

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Creating a More Empathic Workplace Culture

ConnectPsych — Tue, 18 Aug 2020 16:30:08 +0000

By Dr Natalie Flatt

Failure to acknowledge an employee’s mental health can hurt productivity, professional relationships, and the bottom line: A total of 3.2 days per worker are lost each year through workplace stress however, businesses that take action will, on average, experience a return of $2.30 for every $1 invested in initiatives that foster better mental health in the workplace.

Below are five ways managers can help drive a more empathetic culture:

Watch Your Words:

We all need to be aware of the words we use that can contribute to stigmatising zing mental health issues: wow – he’s so OCD. Downer Dan/Anxious Annie is at it again. Would you open up about a disorder or tell your team leader you needed time to see a therapist after hearing these words?

“Mental Health Days”:

We need to get more comfortable with the idea of suggesting and requesting days to focus on improving mental as well as physical health.

Encourage Open and Honest Conversations:

Create ‘safe spaces’ for team to open up about their current challenges without judgement or name calling or fear of being excluded. Managers and leaders can explicitly encourage everyone to speak up when feeling overwhelmed or in need and set the tone by sharing their own experiences or examples of other people who have struggled with mental health issues, received help and recovered.

Know the Facts and Be Proactive:

Access to on-line programs, resources, and education on stress management and resilience-building can offer teams some much needed support in times of need along with educating other staff.

Knowledge trumps discrimination. Mental illness is still poorly understood in society, so the better informed you are, the better equipped you are to identify and respond to stigma. Find out as much as you can about mental health and associated disorders, especially the myths, and share it.

Train People to Notice and Respond:

Assigning ‘Mental First Aid’ officers in your workplace has proven to increase people’s ability to recognise the signs of someone who may be struggling with a mental health challenge offer guidance to resources, listen non-judgmentally, offer reassurance, and assess the risk of suicide or self-harm.

Creating an empathic environment where staff feel able to talk openly about these issues, and know that if they do, they’ll be met with support and understanding, not stigma or discrimination, is now a significant advantage in all industries.

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3 reasons that stop us from appreciating as often as we should

ConnectPsych — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 13:43:49 +0000

Saying thank-you is one of these things we do as humans, that has become so intrinsic and automatic that we don’t give it much thought. In many cases we are told from a young age it’s polite. I can still picture vividly the times where my mother was on my back saying “what do we say?”.

However simple it is, or intrinsic it becomes, it plays an important role in our lives, and is worth spending a bit of time understanding more profoundly.

In fact properly understanding why we appreciate others, and how to do so effectively is one of the core life skills that radically improve our quality of life and relationships.

According to Maslow one of our human needs is for love and belonging. Appreciation is way in which we full fill this need.

Although on the surface the act of saying thank you seems pretty simple, for an array of reasons we don’t seem to express it enough, or when we do, we might not do it correctly.

A survey from Gallup on US employees showed that more than half of employees stated that being under-appreciated was the reason for leaving their job.

Instead of going on about how to express appreciation, I wanted to address a much more fundamental problem; some of the reasons we don’t appreciate each other as much as we should.

Reason #1: We believe saying thank you lowers our status

Saying thank you can feel like we are placing ourselves in debt to that person, hence placing us on a lower status level. So naturally we believe create this belief.

The thing with status is, it’s not a finite resource. E.g. In order for you to increase your status, I don’t have to give up some of mine. It’s quite the opposite actually, status is how we perceive ourselves in relation to others, and so the more interaction we have the better our chances are to change how we feel about ourselves in relation to others.

By creating an environment in which everyone feels comfortable to ask for help and to give support to each other allows everyone to grow and develop, resulting in them heightening their status.

Reason #2: I’m just doing my job – and so should you

We are expected to deliver what we are getting paid to do, and expect others to do the same. When we hold this belief about ourselves, it inhibits us from saying thank you to others, because we don’t think it’s deserved or necessary.

Although this is understandable it doesn’t fully capture the nature of human beings and what motivates us to be our best selves. Appreciating someone, emotionally rewards them for their efforts and encourages them to continue doing their best.

In contrast, if you don’t appreciate someone for what they do it will quickly result in them only delivered the bare minimum. This is probably a key reason why many businesses fail, or just get by without ever achieving success or truly delivering on their promises.

Reason #3: I can do it, so can you!

As humans we are subject to a series of biases that inhibit us from seeing the world it actually is. One of these biases is called the false consensus bias results in us thinking that the things that come to us easily do so as well for others.

This bias, inhibits us from acknowledging when our peers do something remarkable because it’s not to us. Spending some time learning more about what the strengths and weaknesses are of the people around you will go a long way in helping you give appreciation where it’s due.

You may feel like all 3 of these reasons apply to you, or maybe none at all. Either way, I felt it was important was to address some of the deeper, more psychological reasons that inhibit us from giving thanks where thanks is due.

Hopefully these will get you to start reflecting upon your own behaviour around appreciation and what might be stopping you from appreciation your peers more effectively.

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Increasing Professional Effectiveness

ConnectPsych — Sat, 27 Jun 2020 15:08:33 +0000

By Joe Busuttil

How to communicate clearly, increasing professional effectiveness:

Every good relationship is built on a strong foundation of trust that can only come from open and honest communication, embracing our strengths and working through challenges together.

The same communication skills are equally applicable to running a successful business. Unless you are a sole trader, you need to learn to work together for the common cause, and that means being able to talk clearly and constructively with your employees about what needs to be achieved.

Good communication helps employees come to work full of passion and drive, increasing productivity.

Unfortunately, that isn’t happening in as many as one in five Australian businesses, according to worrying statistics supplied by the hugely comprehensive Study of Australian Leadership.

Conducted by the University of Melbourne’s Centre for Workplace Leadership as supported by the Department of Employment, the report found that performance targets were known only to senior managers in as many as 21% of Australian businesses surveyed.

If your employees don’t know what you’re aiming for, how can you build a successful business?

A useful guide to communicating effectively in business.

Talk to each other. This one may seem obvious, but with email having taken over our working lives, too often we don’t take the time to actually speak with our colleagues, even when we sit metres apart. Sure, email chains are handy for keeping track of goals, but that can come after sitting down together.

Listen. Again, this one might seem obvious, but too often we’re so sure of what needs to be achieved and how to get there that we forget to take other ideas into account. The most dedicated employees are those that feel like they are a valued part of the conversation. When approaches differ, sometimes the best solution lies somewhere in the middle.

Build up trust through ownership. By extension, respect is a two way street. The more open and transparent you are about your company’s goals, the more likely an employee is to bring their A-game. Work on genuinely including them in your vision and give them the space to achieve your common goals.

Recruit smartly. Diverse offices make for the most successful business. If you hire people from a wider range of backgrounds, you will benefit from cultural differences that lead to richer conversations and more strategic responses.

Encourage questions. If an employee feels that a job is overwhelming and they aren’t sure what’s expected of them, it can lead to undue stress. Ensure employees understand that questions are welcome. It’s better to walk through it two or three times than to risk making a mistake.

Nuance is important. As our lives increasingly move onto social media, we’re losing the subtle art of reading between the lines. If you’re writing an email, it’s important to understand how it might be misinterpreted. Make sure you are clear in your tone and expectations, and if an idea is particularly complex, consider broaching it in person first.

Take your time. The best way to avoid the possibility of conflict is with a clear and calm approach to any difficult issue. If you suspect you might be too fired up, take a time out, breathe, mediate, go for a walk, and make a cup of camomile tea, whatever you need to come back with an open mind.

Sorry is a powerful word. If a conflict has occurred, again take a time out, but be willing to come back to the table and own your mistakes, apologising where necessary. Allow the same courtesy to an employee who has inadvertently crossed you and is genuinely sorry.

Praise where praise is due. The power of a genuinely given compliment can never be underestimated. The best leaders know how to sing their employee’s praises, boosting both their morale and that of their colleagues.

In conclusion. If you embrace effective communication as a core tenet of your business, building on these steps and actively including your employees in the conversation with genuine respect and empathy, maximising the output of your combined skillsets, it will build toward a stronger, brighter future for everyone involved.

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Elements of the Outdoors to Create Balance

ConnectPsych — Tue, 02 Jun 2020 18:24:50 +0000

By Dr. Natalie Flatt

As we come into the colder seasons, I’m always reminded about the benefit of those brisk walks are for my mental clarity, productivity, ‘lightbulb’ moments, and overall wellbeing.

We more often than not seek shelter and warm spaces which are comfortable and safe. Normally this can be linked to higher intake of calories, and increased use of technology. However, adventuring outside and spending time in nature over the colder months can be just as important for both physical and mental health.
If you visit a local park, garden, or beach, you may notice there is less noise, and there are less people and fewer sources of stress. Sunlight, fresh air, plant life, open spaces, and the natural environment can lead to lower stress levels and have an overall positive impact on wellbeing.

Individuals frequently venturing into parks, beaches and reserves have been found to experience lower levels of stress, anxiety, depression along with better quality sleep. Further Vitamin D (albeit lower) provides sunlight to assist in serotonin production; the body’s natural mood lifter.

So what are some tips to make sure we can get out of the workplaces or the home environment to protect both our mental and physical health?

Plan some ‘walking’ meetings with a colleague. This can not only provide an opportunity for some physical activity but getting out of the normal meeting environment might spark additional ideas or different ways to work toward that project goal.
Arrange social catch ups during the day rather than the evening. This is a great way to venture into different areas of your city and catch a few extra rays for that hit of Vitamin D. It also prevents you from falling into the trap of ‘unmotivated cancelling’ (AKA, too tired, can’t be bothered, don’t want to get dressed to go out for dinner).
Strip down. When outside, ditch the sunglasses if not too glary. A strong entry point for vitamin D is under the eyes so make sure they are exposed for even a small amount of time (20 minutes).
Leave the tech at home. Aim to leave the phone at home or if in a group/family, take only phone outside. Enjoy what is in front of you rather than what is on the screen. Also, it’s a great way to disconnect even for a few hours.
Find the relationship – on the days you do outdoor activities, record how you feel after. What is your mood toward your family? How are your energy levels? Do you feel more productive? Did you solve that problem? Are you more grateful? The best way to recognise what is good for you and if ir works is to reflect and a quick journal entry or even that smiley face on your work calendar will be a great reminder that outdoor life is good for you. J

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Happy Leaders, Successful Teams

ConnectPsych — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 07:20:28 +0000

By Dr Natalie Flatt, Director

During the week, I presented to a set of amazing and mindfully connected managers (which is always so encouraging) on a set of topics which can enhance workplace productivity. At the end of the workshop, I asked them which half of the workshop was the most they got out of the day. Thinking about differing HR software to measure contextual performance? The chance to save money and hours with looking at real time performance outcomes? No. And it wasn’t even the first section that grabbed them about recognising a low resilient workplace. It was the need to remind themselves to practice happiness and gratitude that struck the cord.

It struck me that the power of self observation and an ’it starts with you’ attitude towards overall team change gives more impact than I’ve given it credit for. Now this team was quite emotionally connected. When given an Emotional Intelligence test, they said the outcomes didn’t surprise them with many of them highlighting the need to watch their levels of self regulation in certain situations. It was the HOW that got them stuck. We live in a society where it is so fast paced, managers have to push aside their ‘negative’ feelings without any recognition and get on with their day. This causes a build up and is one main factor with leads to a disconnection with thoughts, feelings, and actions and is a major variable in boundaries, conflict and burnout.

So what can we do to cultivate self gratitude? Let’s just start with 3 things –

Take time each day to acknowledge one to three good things you experienced that day and one to three successes every day. This provides you a detailed record you can then go back and review whenever you need a reminder of your accomplishments.
Write a 2 minute email praising someone you know. Our brains become addicted to feeling good by making others feel good. Further, it fosters our sense of empowerment by changing the reality of what we see around us.
Do 15 minutes of a fun cardio activity, like gardening or walking the dog or holding a walking meeting, every day. The effects of daily cardio can be as effective as taking an antidepressant along with proving opportunity to socialise.

So I dare you to try this for 21 days. Positive people are 31% more productive. Only you will be able to unlock a new way of seeing situations. See this success follow you.

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How to communicate clearly, increasing professional effectiveness

ConnectPsych — Thu, 19 Mar 2020 15:12:44 +0000

By Joe Busuttil

Every good relationship is built on a strong foundation of trust that can only come from open and honest communication, embracing our strengths and working through challenges together.

Good communication helps employees come to work full of passion and drive, increasing productivity.

Unfortunately, that isn’t happening in as many as one in five Australian businesses, according to worrying statistics supplied by the hugely comprehensive Study of Australian Leadership.

If your employees don’t know what you’re aiming for, how can you build a successful business?

A useful guide to communicating effectively in business.

Joe Busuttil is a Nationally Accredited Counsellor, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Life coach located in Melbourne, Australia.

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Tips to Better Employee Self Care in the Workplace

ConnectPsych — Fri, 06 Mar 2020 20:49:47 +0000

Untreated mental health conditions cost Australian workplaces approximately $10.9 billion per year. PWC Report, (2014).

What is self care in the workplace?

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), self–care is “what people do for themselves to establish and maintain health, and to prevent and deal with illness.” … Do this by educating employees on how to practice self–care both at home and in the workplace.

Balancing work, family, and personal life has always been challenging for employees. It is even more challenging today. Our technological advancements are overwhelming us with its information overload. The workday is filled with multi-tasking expectations and increasing emphasis on efficiency and productivity. These workplace pressures continue to mount, especially with the current economic and political challenges and uncertainty. Such pressures can lead to the experience of cumulative stress for employees. It may also compromise the quality of their performance in all areas of their lives, and their emotional and physical well-being overall.

The following is a list of 10 proven steps to better self-care at work.

This isn’t an exhaustive list rather a starter list.

1. Implement professional boundaries. Make sure if you need to leave by a specific time to collect the children, get to the gym or meet a friend you honour yourself and your commitments.

2. Look at your diary at the beginning of the week and each day to make sure you haven’t over committed yourself professionally and personally. Re work your diary if you need to allow for more wriggle room

3. Prioritise short breaks for yourself throughout the working day – going for a walk around the block, taking a couple minutes to do some simple stretches to release any tension, taking a lunch break if you don’t usually

4. Make your work space a comfortable and inviting place to be Eg put photos or personal items around that spark joy when you look at them

5. Develop a to do list and tick off the tasks as you complete them. This gives you a sense of completion and achievement

6. Touch paper once – when something comes across your desk or you receive an email in your inbox, make an effort to complete the task then and there rather than put it in the “to do” pile.

7. Before committing to a project, promotion etc, first consider your needs and available resources, and whether it will lead to overextending yourself

8. when you leave your workplace at the end of the day make a conscious effort to leave work at the door. A good way to do this is to use a specific marker or place you see each time you leave the workplace and make the decision to visually leave your “work hat” behind for the day.

9. Be kind to yourself, we are all human and mistake are made

10. Don’t forget to smile

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