With sayings such as “she’ll be right,” “it’s all good,” and “no worries” part of our daily vernacular, it seems that our society places a high value on positivity. While optimism can be helpful, it can also be used to dismiss or avoid real emotions.
Sometimes this happens because we don’t want to dive too deeply into what’s bothering us, or because it feels easier to place difficult feelings in the “all too hard” basket. However, stifling challenging emotions doesn’t make them disappear. In many cases, they return in different ways later on.
Many of us grew up with the message that we should not show our emotions. As a result, we attempt to ignore or suppress them. Unfortunately, negative emotions rarely respond well to suppression. We may internalise them, resulting in anger, resentment, depression, or resignation. Alternatively, we may externalise them through blame, discounting, or projecting feelings onto others.
Over time, these reactions can begin to accumulate. I often describe this as a “train carriage” effect — each unprocessed emotion attaches itself to the next until the emotional load becomes heavier and harder to manage.
The Physical Impact of Suppressing Emotions
Research continues to highlight the physical impact of withholding emotions. Studies have linked emotional suppression to a range of health concerns, including heart disease, stomach issues, weight challenges, and even premature death.
When emotions are consistently ignored or pushed aside, the body often carries the burden. Emotional stress does not simply disappear — it tends to manifest physically over time.
The Mental Health Effects of Ignoring Difficult Feelings
But what about our mental health?
There have been numerous studies demonstrating that when we fail to regulate or acknowledge our emotions, we may experience both short-term and long-term psychological effects.
No one enjoys experiencing difficult emotions such as humiliation, disappointment, sadness, or anger. However, avoiding or denying how you feel can have unintended consequences.
Suppressing emotions can also involve trying to suppress the memory of an experience that caused discomfort. Yet deliberately trying to forget something rarely works. In fact, the mind often does the opposite — bringing the thought back repeatedly, much like the classic “pink elephant in the room.”
Why Emotional Awareness Can Feel Confronting
As a psychologist, I understand that listening to our emotions can feel frightening and confronting. Many people have spent years, or even decades, avoiding them. It is understandable to wonder why you would suddenly want to face those feelings all at once.
Of course, this approach is not ideal either. Becoming overwhelmed by emotions can create confusion and distress. Instead, I often encourage clients to start slowly by educating themselves about the science of emotions and practising emotional self-regulation.
The goal is to gradually develop awareness of what you are feeling and to identify and name those emotions accurately. This process helps build confidence and creates a greater sense of control over emotional reactions.
Approaches such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy focus on helping individuals develop this awareness, allowing them to respond to emotions with greater resilience and self-understanding.
The Role of Self-Awareness in Mental Wellbeing
Developing self-awareness requires courage. It can be confronting and uncomfortable at times. It may involve noticing aspects of ourselves that we were previously unaware of or have avoided examining.
For many people, it feels easier to avoid this process altogether. Yet self-awareness is often the starting point for meaningful change.
When we understand our emotional patterns and responses, we are better equipped to care for our mental health, improve our relationships, and make decisions that align with our values.
How Therapy Supports Emotional Growth
The benefits of therapy are different for everyone. People may seek support for many different reasons, and their outcomes will naturally vary.
However, increased self-awareness is frequently a core component of why therapy can be so effective. When individuals gain insight into their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, they often feel more empowered to make changes that improve their wellbeing.
Self-awareness becomes the launching pad for understanding ourselves more deeply, strengthening our relationships, and creating a life that feels fulfilling and meaningful.
Taking Time to Check In With Yourself
This R U OK Day, taking the time to check in with your own emotional awareness can be an important step.
If you notice that you have been pushing difficult feelings aside or struggling to understand your emotional responses, speaking with a psychologist can provide a safe space to explore these experiences.
At Connect Psych Services, we are here to listen and support you, anytime, anywhere. Get in touch.
